Shame Come to Romeo
by AZTbreak
Summary: Angel's the shy bullied kid who wants to fade away what happened when his new teacher collins shows him how to love life. Student/teacher relationship
1. Eyes meet

**Warnings:**

 **There will be smut later so the rating will go up**

 **And lots of self harm**

 **So let me give u a little background, I've been working on this story off and on for about 4years... long time I know but I finally finished writing it! This is my favorite story i've ever written so im going to be posting a chapter every few days. I hope u like it as much as I do! So without further ado here is 'Shame come to Romeo'.**

 _Two households both alike in dignanty,_

 _In fair verona where we lay our scene._

 _From ancient grudges bring new muntanies,_

 _Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean..._

Angel sat on the stairs of his school rushing to read the first two acts of 'Romeo and Juliet' before class started. He struggled to keep up with most of his classes but he dreaded English the most. His teacher, Mrs. McConall was the scariest teacher he ever had. She was eight months pregnant, so her actions were understandable but not forgivable.

It was an unusually warm day for late September but that didn't stop Angel from wearing baggy jeans and a thick oversized sweatshirt. He was terribly shy and very self conscious, he didn't want to be seen. He was always trying to hide, most of it coming from a strong Catholic upbringing. There was a way u were meant to be and meant to live but he couldn't. He liked guys and couldn't shake it making him hate himself. So he hid everything and from everyone.

"Oh, then I see Queen Mab hath been with you she is-" The bell rang. "Shit," he whispered and got up only getting half way through act one.

He walked down the hall slowly not ready for class yet. He stopped where ever he could, his locker, the drinking fountain, tie his shoe, wash his face.

The second bell rang, he was late, he had no choice now. He made his way down the hall and quietly opened the door keeping his eyes on the floor trying to avoid 's wrath.

"And to you are?" A man's voice called out.

Angel turned around and saw not his normal teacher but a tall, dark, handsome man in her place.

"Uhh, uh..." Angel stuttered feeling his face go red.

"Your name, son," the new teacher asked.

"Ángel Dumott Shunard" he blurted out.

"Okay, Ángel tardy," he marked the attendance sheet and looked back at Angel still frozen in his place. "You can take your seat now."

The class bursted out into laughter, he rushed to his seat and hid his face behind his book.

"Alright," the teacher turned to the chalk board. "I'm going to be your new teacher while Mrs. McConall is away on maturity leave. My name is Mr. Collins, any questions?"

The room remained silent Angel eased the book down and looked at Mr. Collins. He was young for a teacher, tall, with a muscular build behind his white dress shirt. And Angel found him incredibly attractive. As he stared, Collins turned and looked around the room. He made direct eye contact with Angel who immediately dropped his gaze and cursed himself for finding another man attractive.

He continued his introduction, "Now I know you're all excited, senior year, new teacher and all. However, it's not going to be all fun and games, you still have to do the same work your teacher was going to give you." The class groaned. "But I think you'll find our teaching styles to be a bit different. So no more assigned reading, we will read 'Romeo and Juliet' as a class and we will take multiple choice quizzes at the end of the acts. So it's all the same work just a little easier."

Angel sighed a breath of relief and smiled brightly, he might survive this year yet. Collins saw and couldn't help but smiled and look away a bit of blush creeping onto his cheeks.

"And if we need extra help with the material?" A girl raised her hand.

"Great question, uhhh..." he looked at the seating chart. "Joanne, well I'll be available here after school until about 5:30 everyday starting tomorrow. Any other questions?" No one said anything. "Alright, since it's the first day of class, well for me at least why don't you take the rest of class to talk amongst yourselves."

The class cheered and bursted into loud chatter. Angel took out a sketch book and began to draw. He made weird cartoon punk rock girls and heavy metal guys that looked more like it should be on a mural in the east village. After he page he moved on to draw impossibly thin and tall beautiful girls in gorgeous gowns. They had large round heads they looked haunting almost alien like.

In time class ended, Angel stood up and gathered his books. Some kid pushed passed him purposely books down and kicking them away.

"Watch it freak," he said and left the class room.

Angel knelt down to gather his papers that had fallen out of his binder.

"Here let me help," Collins squatted next to him.

"Thanks," he mumbled.

Collins picked up the last paper, it had half done math homework and doodles on it. He looked to see a picture of a sad looking boy that looked like Angel, his wrists were slit and he was bleeding out. The boy in the picture was staring at a mirror of a girl smiling.

Collins cautiously handed the paper back, "Here, you're a really good artist."

He took the paper without looking at it and gave a shy smile, "Y-you reqlly think so?"

"Yea," he smiled back and paused before clearing his throat and looking back at the picture. "Art is a good outlet. But if you ever need to talk about anything you can always come here."

Angel's smile fell he looked at the picture and realized what he meant. He quickly gathered the rest of his stuff and took off mumbling a goodbye rushing to his next class.

 _You idiot!_ Angel thought. _He doesn't care about your drawings. He wants to pity you, and talk to you about how fucked up you are. You queer sicko you thought he was cute! He's your teacher! And a guy!... and straight._

"Hail Mary, full of grace the lord is with thee. Pray for us sinners in the hour of our death," he whispered.

 _From now on, stay away from Mr. Collins._

 **tbh I dont care if anyone likes or reads this story im posting it!**


	2. Cat out of the bag

**Enjoy**

Over the course of the next two weeks Angel tried his best to keep his distance but failed, miserably. He never felt happier or more comfortable. Most days after school he found himself in Collins class getting help with homework in every subject but mostly they hung out and talked. They got really close, he broke Angel out of his shell. They did have their moments, some flirty lines, occasionally checking each other out, a lingering accidental touch of the hand, and a lot of blushing.

It was nice for Angel to have somewhere to go where he felt safe and like someone cared. It was really get away from the bullies, of course he could have always gone home. But the house was almost always empty and when it wasn't his parents didn't care. So why rush there? Collins was always excited to see him and hear about his day and any other stories he had.

"Alright, well I'll see you tomorrow," Angel waved from the doorway.

"Same time?" He smiled.

"Yeah, same time."

Angel hurried down the hall with a pep in his step. His spirits instantly dropped, however, when he rounded the corner standing there was four football players just out from practice. Angel instantly turned around to go back down the hall but it was too late they saw him.

"Heeeey, well if it isn't the little freak!" One of them shouted Angel froze.

"Wh-what do u want Derek?" He kept his eyes on the ground.

"Oh, getting right to the point here aren't we?" He pushed Angel knocking him against the lockers. "What are you doing here so late, huh? Trying to catch us at practice? Like some kind of queer?"

"Yeah," one of the other boys laughed. "A freak and a faggot!"

"I'm not gay," Angel mumbled.

"Oh yeah, what about all this shit?" Derek took his sketch book and started flipping through it while the other boys looked on.

"Aww, look at the sensitive artist!" They teased.

"I bet he cuts!"

"Awww, he dwaws such pwetty pwitures" someone taunted in a baby voice.

Derek tore out a few pages, crumbled them, and threw them at Angel. His eyes filled with tears.

"Aw, you gonna cry now? Go ahead... faggot." He pushed him into the lockers.

"I'm not a fag, you are," Angel shouted.

"Oooooohhhh, someone's feeling brave!" He tore out another page and punched him in the stomach the paper crumbled up in his fist. "Why don't you look at this and call me that again."

Angel took the paper and uncrumpled it. It was of Collins kissing him on the cheek, he stared at it unsure of what to say. His anger was boiling in him, they destroyed his book, his art, and reminded him of what he hates about himself most.

"I-I'm not gay.." A few tears slipped out he began to shake from head to toe, full of rage.

"You are gay, and a freak, and you're gonna die alone from AIDS like all the other gross faggots!"

Something inside Angel broke at that moment, he pulled back a fist and punch Derek square in. His face knocking him backwards. He took his sketch book back from one of the other boys

"You bitch!" Derek shouted cradling his bloody nose. "Get him!" He ordered his friends.

Angel and the three other boys took off running. He was going so fast he almost passed his destination, Angel backed up and threw open the door to Collins class wide eyed and scared.

"Ángel?" Collins asked as he stopped packing up his things, he was surprised and concerned to see Angel like this. " what's wrong? Are you ok?"

Angel shut the door and leaned his bodyweight against it before sinking to the floor. He began to cry in his hands.

"Ángel, what happened?" He rushed to his side kneeling down.

"Football players," he sobbed. "They ripped up my drawings, tried to beat me up, and they called me queer."

"Don't worry they can't get you in here." The Latino threw his arms around Collins and cried into his chest. "Hey it's ok."

"No its not," his voice came muffled. "I don't want to be gay."

Collins hugged him rubbing circles on his back trying to soothe him, "Why not? What's wrong with being gay?"

"It's not right, it's not what God wants, you get AIDS, everyone hates you."

"I don't think so, where did you hear that?"

"It's true," Angel pulled away and wrapped his arms around his legs. "It's on the news, in church, I hear people in the hallways."

"Well.. " Collins started trying to keep the anger and offense out of his voice. "You have nothing to worry about then," he paused. "Unless, unless you are gay."

Angel didn't answer, he just cried harder. He asked again gently tilting his chin up until Angel's eyes met his.

"Ángel, are you gay?"

"No," he said sheepishly pulling his head out of the other man's grasp.

"Alright," Collins stood up and offered a hand which he took."Well you know you can lie to me, but you cant lie to yourself."

The Latino drew his hand back and stammered, "I-I'm n-, I ca-ca-can't, I-I mean, I'm not."

"It's ok. Can I tell you a secret?" Angel nodded cautiously. "Im gay."

He gasped collins let out a little chuckle, "See, and you don't hate me do you?"

Angel said nothing but stared at him intensely, he took a step closer and lifted himself onto his tiptoes. Collins was unaware of the world around him the stare was hypnotizing. Angel leaned forward slowly their lips finally connected, Collins tensed up for a second before pulling Angel close relaxing into it. Neither were aware at how long or badly the other wanted this. Once they parted they both had a small smile on their faces.

"Ángel," Collins started.

"Angel. Please, call me Angel."

He smile, "I like that better, it fits you."

Angel blushed and looked at the floor, jogging Collins memory of where they were and who Angel really was. A minor, and one of his students no less.

His face changed he backed away and became more serious, "Angel, we shouldn't have..."

He saw where this was going and turned bright red embarrassed, "I have to go." He grabbed his stuff and brushed away a few new tears.

He took off down the hall trying not to cry.

 _I'm so stupid! Now he knows, he's gonna tell everybody I'm gay. You sicko you kissed your teacher! He's gonna tel your parents!_ His mind told him.

He walked as fast as he could to get home.

By the time he got there it was almost six o'clock his parents should be home by now. He opened the door and hoped for the best.

"Mom! Dad? I'm home," He called stepping inside.

"Ángel, keep it down!" His mother called from the dining room.

Nothing different, same old place. He walked in to see a group of women sitting around the table, her book club.

"I'm with the girls," his mother forced a smile at her son.

He rolled his eyes slightly making her scowl.

"Where's dad?" He asked.

"Upstairs, don't bother him."

Angel sighed and went upstairs to his room. He flopped onto his bed and stared at the crucifix above his door.

"When will you answer me?" He asked it.

The cross sat on its hook still not giving a sign, he rolled over to stare at the wall. Soon he fell asleep.

 **I really hope you guys like this story dont be afraid to leave me a comment.**


	3. Puff the magic dragon

**im going to palm springs for the weekend im so excited! But I couldnt leave without posting a new chapter.**

 **This story is my baby be kind to it.**

Angel sat behind the bleachers on the edge of campus and drew, he was just waiting for second period to start. He was ditching to avoid Collins.

"Well, well,well, if it isn't the famous disappearing Angel," he turned around and saw his old friend Mimi.

She was two years younger than him, a sophomore. She was a beautiful latina with long curly hair but chose to wear cheap tight clothes that showed off her curves. She more or less ditched Angel in the last few months to be with her new boyfriend Roger. Despite the abandonment he was still excited to see her.

"Hi chica, how you been?" Angel hugged her.

She sighed, "you know Roger, always hot and cold. I'm alright, what about you?"

"Nothing much," he lied. " I've been ok, just nothing much going on. I've been just hanging out by myself."

"Yeah... I'm sorry about that," she looked to the ground. "You should come meet the gang, you'd like them."

"Nah, they're your friends and I'm too shy for that."

"She laughed, "My point exactly! You need to go out and see the world!"

"Oh, ok Miss 'see the world' what are you doing behind the bleachers?" Angel playfully rolled his eyes.

"Oh," she smiled wickedly and let a plastic bag unroll in her hand revealing four perfectly rolled joints.

"Now I understand!"

"You want in?" She offered.

"It's been awhile," he took the weed filled paper and smelled it. The familiar skunk odor assaulted his nose and brought back many great memories.

"Careful," Mimi warned. "This shit is strong."

Angel smirked the stronger the better to him. She handed him the lighter, he lit the end of it and took a slow drag and held his breath. He let the drug soak into his lungs before blowing it out as smoothly as possible in an attempt to be cool. It failed miserably he coughed until he was red in the face unable to breathe in he finally spat and was able to calm his body.

Mimi laughed hysterically at him partly because of his pain and partly because of the drugs. Slowly together the friends got dumber and more relaxed. Mimi sat leaned her back against a support beam for the seats above their heads. Angel rested his head in her lap and stared at the metal.

"You know," Angel laughed out, "I feel so close to God right now. Everything is right in the world, this must be what heaven feels like."

"Fuck, get out of here with ur religious shit. You're messing up my vibes!" She rolled her head back and smiled, she was such a potty mouth when she was high.

Angel finished the last bit of his joint and flicked it away. He could feel the world spinning around him, well either that or he was just extremely dizzy.

"Fuuuuuuuck," he shouted then dropped to a normal volume. "I wanna bang my teacher."

Mimi looked at him her jaw dropped and she couldn't stop laughing.

"Who?" She managed through her giggles.

"Mr. Collins he's my sub for the rest of the year."

"Ohhh, I saw his yesterday. Fuck, he's hot!"

Suddenly the bell rang, panic hit Angel, he couldn't go to class high. He had done it countless times before but couldn't it always scared him. His breathing became labored it only made him more light headed, Mimi stood him up.

"Whoa there, sailor," she rested her hands on his shoulders. "Breath slowly, you got this, ignore everyone, deny everything, and remember the teachers don't give a shit."

Angel laughed at her, "You're so serious," he touched her face.

She smacked his face in a light and playful manner, "You're fine."

They linked arms and walked to class, Angel always felt better high as most would. He felt more free he didn't care what anyone thought, he felt comfortable to act more flamboyant. He spent almost every class his nose stuffed into his half ruined sketch book. He drew even weirder doodles than normal and himself in drag.

As lunch started Angel ate, feeling his high dying he walked off to a secluded place and lit the other joint Mimi gave him. He had hidden it in his pencil case, too high to be aware or scared of the smell that followed him that day. Once his high was reinstated he was ready for class.

They flew by as expected, he was too high to really function at this point. He spent the class spaced out staring at the blank page in front of him. Soon it was time to leave he walked down the he passed Collins class. Collins stood in the doorway, he took one look at Angel and knew. Not that he was hiding it that well, the blank stare and red eyes was an obvious give away.

"Have a fun day Mr. Schunard?" He half smiled and crossed his arms.

"Yea," he said in an almost flirty voice. "May I come in?"

"I don't see why not," he stepped aside and shut the door behind him. "Is there something you want to talk about?" He sat on top of his desk.

Angel walk up to him and started opening his sketch book, "portrait of a boy," he almost sang. "So good on paper."

"What time did you start smoking?"

"Time floats away," he gave collins the book and twirled his hands.

Collins looked through the book at first it seemed odd but normal for Angel: melting punk rock kids. But he turned the page and saw amazing detailed portraits of himself. He flipped it again and saw pictures of Angel as a boy and a girl.

"You're so hard to understand," Collins smiled. "It feels good to be yourself though doesn't it?"

Angel didn't say a word but nodded, the older man turned the next page in the sketch book. There was a sketch of him on top of Angel in bed, half dressed and kissing.

"Oh," he began blushing. "I don't think I was supposed to see that one."

Still not talking he smiled and shrugged.

Collins shook his head at the mute boy, "come on, we gotta get your head clear before you go home."

"Who cares," he finally spoke up.

"I'm sure you don't want to get in trouble with your parents."

"Trouble? They don't even notice, never do, never did, never will. And you're killing my high!"

"Alright," Collins put up his hands surrendering. "You know, you never struck me as the spiritual kind."

"You should know better than anyone how badly I needed to relax.

"I kinda like you like this, you're really open."

"Cause I don't give a fuck!" He threw is arms out Almost falling over in the process. They both laughed in the process. "So I'll take you dabble in dabs and doobies?"

"Angel, I majored in philosophy, you can see where I was stand. Is this a normal for you?"

"More or less. It's been a while the last time I smoked was my birthday," he yawned.

"Getting bored talking to me, huh? When was your birthday?"

"June. June 17th I turned seventeen."

"Ahh, so you have a while before you turn 18?"

"Yeah... Why do you ask, Mr. Collins," he stepped closer feeling brave. "Do u wish I was 18 already?"

Collins stuttered trying to give a reason, but Angel cut him off. He wrapped his arms around the taller man's neck, like he did the other day.

"It's ok honey, I like you too," he pulled him into another kiss which Collins returned without hesitation.

Collins couldn't resist anymore he wanted him. He lifted Angel onto his desk and moved to focus his attention on his neck. Angel squealed and bit his lip as Collins covered it in kisses it felt better than he imagined. The goatee ticked his sensitive skin and sent shivers down his back. After another moment or so they parted and rested their foreheads together.

"Collins..."

"Call me Tomorrow."

"Tom," he giggled. "What do we do now."

"I guess, I guess I should take you home. I'm not going to make you walk home in the cold."

"Thank you, um lead the way." Angel laughed nervously.

They walked outside and crossed the parking lot keeping a safe distance between them. He opened the passenger door of a red orange mustang and waited for him to get in.

"Wow, this is a really cool car."

Collins laughed, "come one, what did you expect me to have?"

Angel shrugged and reclined the seat a bit getting comfortable.

"So where am I heading?"

He yawned again, "1551 pane street."

"Oh, nice that's only a block away from me" Angel didn't say anything, he looked over and saw he was fast asleep.

It gave Collins time to think about what he was doing, iwas grossly sobering. When they pulled up to Angel's house his mind was made up. This was dangerous and terrible, he couldn't date a student.

"Angel it's time to get up," he shook him lightly.

He sat up and leaned in for a kiss, "hi."

"No, Angel stop. You're high, you're my student, you're too young, I can't kiss you."

"What? Wait, no, can we just back up."

"I think it's better if you go and we forget about all of this."

Angel was ashamed and angry in the pit of his stomach, "ok but is that your answer? I can't have you turn me away then say something flirty again. I'm not a yoyo."

"I won't, I can't, there's too much at stake."

Angel nodded and got out leaving Collins to speed away.

 _So much for my high,_ he thought and rolled his eyes feeling completely sober.

He spent the rest of the day in bed staring at the wall.

 **i hope you like it see y'all on Tuesday? Maybe Monday?**

 **Read & review!**


	4. Save me

**tis time for more**

 **Trigger warning self harm**

Sunday came quickly and Angel found himself up early going to the place he feared most, church. Like every week parents picked the same pew and sat, he was able to spot Mimi and waved. As service started he looked around and saw all the happy people praying and hanging on every word. He desperately wanted to be like them, not afraid of god or death. Mimi was lucky too, she didn't believe in any of it. Angel was too scared to be like that, too afraid to believe in something so angry, too scared to believe in anything so powerful.

"Angel, sit down!" His mother ordered in a hushed tone.

The boy broke his train of thought and realized he was the only one standing.

The rest of the service went by relatively fast. But soon it was time for confessions, and if it was up to him he wouldn't go. But of course his parents made him go.

"Ready for some poor man's therapy?" Mimi whispered getting in line behind him.

"Oh, I'm thrilled," he tried to keep the fear out of his voice.

As the line moved and they reached the front of the line he pulled Mimi in front of him.

"Uh, ladies first!"

"Such a gentleman but no ladies here," she winked.

Angel paced a bit and waited, he tried to come up with some lie to say in there. But his mind was blank, he couldn't lie. Soon Mimi came out and it was his turn. He stepped into the uncomfortably small room and began.

"Father?" He said and took a deep breath forcing himself to calm down.

"Yes, my child?"

"I-i was just wanted to know if the church can be wrong? It's 1983, a lot of people don't live by the Bible. I was just wondering if there was any way it could be wrong about some things."

"The church's doctrine comes from century of study. You can't follow those who stray from it's path. The Bible has stood the test of time, if you stay far enough you will be punished. God knows what is in your heart." The priest said. "Does that answer your question?"

"Yes," Angel lied and left feeling doomed.

When he finally and got home Angel immediately ran up to his room and let all the tears and panic out. He rolled up his sleeves revealing his scars his arms were littered with them. He dug for something in his dresser drawer. He's been cutting since he was 12, once he discovered the control it gave him on the pain in his life he was hooked.

"Finally," he whispered finding his prized possession, a razor blade from a box knife.

He placed the cold metal to his forearm and placed three long cuts. He watched the blood drain from his arm feeling like it was painful memories leaving his body. After a minute or so he cleaned up his arm and stayed in his room for the rest of the day.

The school days when by fast, Angel couldn't stop cutting. His left arm was the worst part by far, he had other cuts on his legs and stomach but it wasn't as bad. He had been avoiding Collins at all costs. He had met Mimi's new friends, a lively bunch of Bohemians. He got along with them fine, well all except for Benny. He was second string on the JV football team, a wannabe jock. As nice as they were none of them could break him out of his shell.

They sat together with Mark the nerdy camera man filming. He pointed the camera in Angel's face.

"Not now please, I'm eating," he covered the camera lens.

"You never want to be filmed."

"Neither do you," he pointed out. "Why don't you film the lovely queen bee she always loves to star in your films."

They looked at Maureen the brunette drama queen. She was currently in the arms of her black lesbian girlfriend.

"I think they're a bit busy," Mark cleared his throat uncomfortably, there was a time not that long ago that Maureen was his girlfriend.

"Aww, Mark don't be so jealous of their love," Roger laughed.

He was everything a rocker should be. He dressed in black and leather, he had shoulder length blond hair, and he was perfect for Mimi.

"Oh here let me film the other lovers then," Mark pointed the camera at Roger and Mimi.

Angel managed a small smile wishing he had someone to love like that. Someone to make him feel safe and happy the way Collins did.

Benny slapped him on the back, "Wow, I didn't know you could smile."

"Haha," Angel sarcastically turning his attention back to his lunch.

"Pity you're so weird you could've fit in nice here," he took Angel's apple and bit it.

"Lay off Benny," Mimi warned.

"What? He knows I'm kidding, ain't that right?"

"Yup," the Latino spoke up. "I forgot my sketch book, I'll be back."

He got up and wandered the Halls of the school knowing perfectly well the book was in his backpack. His feet carried him up and down the Halls until he found himself nearing Collins class. He ducked his head lower hoping no one would step out.

Once he rounded the next corner into the next hallway he stopped and leaned against the wall. Angel looked down he was subconsciously scratching his arm. He rolled his sleeve and looked at the now bleeding badly bandaged cuts.

"Fuck," he whispered, they had just scabbed over.

In the hall behind him he heard foot and panicked. He yanked his sleeve down ripping off some band aids in the process. He turned to walk and hide in the nearest bathroom. When he ran into the person he wanted to see most, and least.

"Oh, Angel I didn't expect to see you hear," Collins sounded shocked. "I actually wanted to talk to you."

"I actually have to go," he began to walk away Collins grabbed his arm.

"Wait," he started Angel hissed in pain. "It was wrong that I treated you that way, but that's no reason to fail your senior year."

"Ok, I'm sorry, i-i'll go to your class ju-just let go of my arm please," he started panicking out of pain and he was feeling trapped.

"Sorry," Collins let go and took a step back putting his hands up.

Angel quickly spotted the blood on the older man's hand, he looked to his sleeve and saw the blood seeping through.

"I have to go," he tried to rush away again.

"Alright, wait," Collins touched his shoulder and saw his finger tips leave a stain on the younger boy's jacket.

He looked at his hand trying to find the source of the blood on him. Angel stayed frozen facing away feeling a little bit light headed.

"Angel? I-is this your blood?"

"Uh, yeah," he turned around slowly. "I scraped my hand, so yeah, I'm trying to get to the bathroom to clean it up."

Collins lifted Angel's chin until their eyes met, giving him a look of warmth and caring no one could deny. It was the look Angel craved, it was loving and gave him butterflies in his stomach.

"Can I see?" Collins asked with a small smile.

Hypnotized by the gaze Angel gave him his hand. Collins flipped it to be palm size up and gently rolled up the sleeve. When the Latino realized what he was doing he yanked his hand back feeling dizzy and betrayed.

"You tricked me!" He took a step back.

"Angel, I'm just trying to make sure you're ok, you lied to me.l," he said sternly then softened his tone. "No let me see your arm again that didn't look good."

"No," he protested cradling his arm. "Have you thought that maybe I have this under control and I don't need another person telling me how I should be or how I should keep my body and dress it. I want someone to care but not about this, not yet." Angel was talking as fast as he could, barely taking time to breathe causing the edges of his vision to get black and fuzzy.

"Ok, alright. I'm sorry I'm not going to stop you or try. But, can I at least help?"

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"Let me help you clean it, and patch it up. The last thing you want to do is die of an infection."

"How do you know if I want to die or not?"

Collins sighed remembering what his father would say about people who self harm, " because if you really wanted to die you would be dead by now."

Angel backed up and tried to walk away Collins draped his arm across his shoulders and they began walking towards the bathroom.

Collins continued, "the reason you're alive though is because you're not ready to die. I see it in you there is a sliver of Hope in you, and as long as it's there you'll stick around to see if things get better."

"I-i.." Angel tried but didn't know what to say.

"It's ok, you don't have to say anything. Now come on, miss Marquez will worry."

Angel nodded and walked with him in silence. Once they entered the bathroom Angel say on the sink while Collins wet some paper towels.

"That's not a challenge by the way. Please don't kill yourself. You have so much life to live," Collins said gently.

Angel didn't react he couldn't look at him instead he kept his eyes on the ground and rolled up his sleeve.

"Oh, this looks bad..." Collins slowly peeled away the remaining tape and gauze on his arm. "We're going to need more than water. Come on, there's a first aid kid in my room. I can patch you up there."

He dabbed away the fresh blood that was dripping down and wrapped it in a dry paper towel. They walked down the hall slowly back to class. Angel kept falling behind he was incredibly dizzy, he tasted metal, his eyes were watering, he also couldn't catch his breath or see anything. He stumbled a little over his own feet he reached out and steadied himself against the lockers.

"Are you ok?" Collins asked.

"Yea, I'm fine," he dismissed.

They took a few more steps, Angel couldn't take it anymore his body gave in and shut down, he fell onto the floor unconscious.

"Angel? Angel!" Collins shook him a bit.

The bell suddenly rang and the hall flooded with students.

 **yooo shout out to all my fainters out there! I dehydrate pretty easy and I'll either black out or throw up this shit is not fun**


	5. Together

**Sorry i haven't updated in a while I've been super sad... I got over looked for a promotion at work cause I work with my sister**

 **Fuck**

 **Enjoy this chapter (pssst there will be fluff)**

Angel woke up surrounded by White walls, white floors, and a white ceiling, wrapped up in white sheets. Feeling more like a science experiment than a person he looked around, he was hooked up to several machine and was alone. He sat up slowly feeling extremely sluggish, was anyone here? How did he get here? He grabbed the metal stand his IV was attached to and rolled it with him. He opened the door and looked one way down the hall he saw nurses and doctors milling around smiling just talking. A few yards down the hall in the nearest chair he saw Collins asleep. Taking a deep breath Angel walked up to him and stood there not sure of what to say or do. But before he could do anything Collins stirred and woke up quickly.

"Um, sorry I didn't mea-" Angel was cut off by a Collins pulling him into a tight hug.

After a second he relaxed into the hug and returned it. Soon Collins relaxed and let go.

"I thought I lost you!" Collins sighed.

Angel was at a loss for words he had butterflies in his stomach and a knot in his throat.

"You need rest," Collins realized and offered his arm for the Latino to lean on.

He climbed back into the bed under the stiff white sheets and finally asked.

"What happened?"

Collins pulled up a chair and sat by the bed.

"You lost too much blood... A-a-and you passed out," his voice began to strain Angel grabbed his hand.

"Collins, it's ok I'm-"

Collins pulled his hand away and buried his face in the blankets, "No it's not! I can't that image out of my head of you lying there. I thought u were dead, it was my fault."

"No, no, Collins.."

"I-i just I don't know what I'd do if you died."

Guilt washed over Angel, someone was actually hurt because of him, someone would actually miss him.

"I'm sorry," was all he could muster. "I didn't know you cared so much."

"I do, I really do. You're bright, and charming, and funny when you want to be, you're so amazing. I can't stand to see you hurt yourself."

Angel shrank down in the bed, he felt like he was being scolded. He had been doing this for years without anyone noticing how could he just stop.

"I don't want you to hurt yourself, i-i want to be there for you."

"Okay," he said trying to make the conversation stop.

"I want to make this work."

Angel turned back to him his heart racing, "what ar-are you saying?"

"I'm saying I want to make it work between us. I want us to be together."

"But you said-"

Collins touched his hand, "I know what I said, but I'm asking you know. Do you want to be with me?"

"Yes... I do, but I'm scared..." He admitted.

"So am I" he chuckled.

Angel couldn't help but laugh, his nerves were going haywire, "I'm glad we agree." He was silent for a minute. "So I guess we're a couple now?"

"Yea, I-i guess we are."

Both men fell quiet again and were beaming with happiness. But soon the silence became awkward and they were unsure of what to do next.

Collins being braver came out and said what was on their minds, "So what now?"

"Why don't you come here and lay with me?" Angel asked turning a deep shade of red.

Collins complied and climbed into the tiny bed they wrapped their arms around each other and laid there face to face. Collins closed his eyes and relaxed drifting into sleep, Angel stayed awake and studied his face.

"You want me to kiss you don't you?" Collins asked his eyes still closed.

"Uh, n- well, ye- I don't kno-" his stammering was cut off by the other man's lips on his.

The kiss ended quickly and more questions floated into Angel's head.

"Um, where is everyone? My family, Mimi, or anyone?"

"They're gone Ang. It's three in the morning."

He sat up quickly, "three in the morning?!"

"You've been out for a long time. You're parents came in for an hour or so, Mimi stayed for as long as she could."

"Anyone else?"

"No."

"Alright," Angel said disappointed not sure what he expected.

"Hey, is my company not enough?" He teased.

"No, I just I don't..."

"Tomorrow will be better."

"You're right," he hid his face and the sadness in his voice and cuddled closer.

Soon the new couple fell asleep. But only briefly at 7am Collins watch started beeping, time to get up.

"Izztooearly"Angel mumbled and rolled over. "Turn it off."

Collins sat up and rested a hand on Angel's hip, "I have to go."

"What?" He shot up fully awake. "Why?"

"You're parents will probably be here soon to get you, and I have to get ready for class. Besides it would be weird if they saw I was still here."

"Oh, ok.. I guess you're right," Angel looked at his gaze wrapped arms. "Can I call you tonight?"

Collins smiled, "sure."

He grabbed a pen and napkin and quickly jotted down 2 phone numbers and gave it to him.

"The top one is my phone, the bottom one is my beeper in case I don't pick up."

He nodded smiling with butterflies in his stomach, "thank you, Collins."

"It's Tom and you know it," he winked and bent down to kiss Angel's cheek.

Once Collins was out of the room Angel giggled never feeling this happy he kicked his feet under the blanket.

"This is really happening!"

He wanted to shout from the roof top and tell the world he also wanted to scream and hide. This was the most terrifying thing he's ever done but he didn't want to stop any of it. For the first time in his life he was fully and completely happy and for this moment he was not afraid to be himself.

"I am so going to hell," he smiled.

The rest of his day flew by, it was a complete blur. His parents came to get him, they hammed it up at the hospital fawning over him and thanking the doctors. But once the left they didn't say a word to Angel for the rest of the day. It was going so fast until evening came... It was time to call Collins and he was nervous. He stared at the phone almost waiting for it to move. He couldn't sit still at this point he was scared shitless to the point of shaking. Finally he worked up the courage and dialed. It only rang twice before he picked up.

"Hello" Collins voice rang cheerfully.

Angel's voice got caught in his throat, he was choked a sheepish, "hi."

"Oh, I was wondering when you'd call."

"Sorry, I'm just got kinda shy."

"Still, around me?"

"Only, sometimes,"he shrugged.

"Oh, yes and I know when you're most outgoing" Collins teased with an all knowing tone

"When?"

Collins made a mock smoking sound taking a slow breath in holding it then letting it out coughing.

Angel got really embarrassed, "oh, right sorry about that."

"Don't be it was cute... And that drawing was really hot."

"Oh," the Latino blushed his mind went right to the picture. "I'm glad you liked it. Ma- maybe we can um make it real one day."

"I'd like that."

They talked late into the night flirting and blushing through it all. After a few short hours of talking it was past 4am and Angel was getting tired.

"You're falling asleep,"he said after Angel let too much time pass before he could muster up a response.

"No I'm not," he slurred out drowsily.

"I'll let you go to to bed. A-are you going to school tomorrow?"

"Are you going to be there?"

"Yes," Collins laughed he had to be.

"Then yes... How r we going to do this? How do I act around you?"

"Just be normal."

"What does that even mean?"

"Just don't let anyone know, and that's all."

"Mmmm, sounds good," Angel rolled over trying to get comfy. "Goodnight Tommy."

"Goodnight Angelcake."


	6. Hot and cold

**its been too long!**

The next day Angel woke up bright and early. He still had to wear gauze on his arm but that was not going to stop him from wearing something a little different today. Instead of the normal layers of baggy clothes he threw on the tightest shirt he had, it was grey blue color and it brought out his skin tone nicely. It was still loose but tighter in comparison. He matched it with some faded tight jeans that showed off his legs and a red hoody. It was the most colorful outfit he owned sadly. He looked in the mirror one more time and smiled, it looked ok, he grabbed his cassette player and left.

He walked with a confident stride and jammed to his music blissfully unaware of the group who was quickly gaining on him. one of them jumped on his back practically knocking him over.

"What the?" He shouted throwing the small person onto the grass next to him knocking off his headphones.

"Hey that hurt!" Mimi shouted rubbing the sore spot on her butt.

"Oh, it you," he half smiled and offered her a hand. "Sorry, but you scared the crap out of me."

"It's ok, we were going to walk you to school but you were already gone when we got to your house."

"We?" Angel turned around and saw everyone Mark, Roger, Joanne, Maureen, and Benny. "Oh... Thanks guys but you didn't have to."

"We wanted to," Mark stepped forward.

"Speak for yourself!" A tired, grumpy Maureen rumbled.

"Well most of us.." Mark back petalled.

"Sorry she's not a morning person," Joanne apologize.

Angel looked at them all most of them did seem tired. He felt guilty, they didn't want to be there they wanted to be in bed, they were only here because of Mimi. He managed a smile and nodded.

"Sorry we weren't there when you woke up," Mimi said, the latino looked at her confused. "At the hospital?" She added.

"Oh, no, no, it's fine guys, really."

"Well we're here and we're gonna walk you, ok?" Roger told him.

"A-alright," he nodded.

"Soooo..." Mimi smiled evilly. "Who are you looking good for?"

"Wh-what are you talking about?"

"Oh, come on! I only see you break out that outfit when you're trying to impress someone! So who is it?"

"No one," he put his headphones back on. "I just wanted to dress half way descent today."

"I bet I know who this is for," she winked.

"Ohhh! Tell me!" Maureen perked up and latched on to the Latina.

"I bet it's for a dude!" Benny whispered to Roger, they snickered.

Angel stopped and turn around, "you know what... I just realized I forgot my books. You guys go ahead, I'll see you at school."

"Hey, don't let them bother you," Mimi said softly.

"No, no I really left my books, I don't want to make you late. I'm fine go," he said and started walking away, he didn't belong with them.

He waited until his "friends" turned the last corner before school. Once out of sight he walked back towards school. He made it into class just before the bell rang. When he walked in the door Collins looked at him from the corner of his eye and he smiled a bit. Angel took his seat and class began.

"I would like everyone to welcome back Angel. He went through something very difficult and I'm sure we're all happy to have him back," Collins said, the class all mumbled hi to Angel. "And here's all the work you missed I need it done by the end of the week." He dropped a pile of papers on his desk.

"What?" Angel protested. "I can't do all of this by the end of the week, Collins that's not fair."

"That's school policy, you have to do the work like everyone else. I'm sorry hopefully you won't skip anymore classes."

"But-"

Collins stern but calmly cut him off, "If you have a problem, Mr. Schunard you can talk to me about it at lunch." Angel's jaw dropped slightly Collins never talked like this, he looked down at his sleeves he had no more objections. "Which brings me to my next point, if anyone needs to talk to me it will have at lunch I will no longer be here after school."

Collins went on and started to talk about a project the class will be starting as a final for Romeo and Juliet. Angel didn't look up from his desk, he pretended to take notes.

"Groups of 2 or 3 students will pick a scene to act out in front of the class. So everyone pair up, this will be due next week," he wrote the due date on the board, the class groaned and they began to move desks.

Angel stayed put, he wouldn't be able to find someone anyways so why bother. Eventually he was approached by an over enthusiastic Asian girl named Diane.

"HI! Wanna work together?" She asked.

"Sure," he nodded and she pulled up a desk.

"Alright! So what should we do?"

"Uh," Angel started shuffling through his work, he hadn't read past act 2, "I don't know, whichever one you want."

"Everything ok?"

"Yea, I just want to go home."

"I'm sorry," she said unsure of what to do. "I hope you feel better."

"Thanks," Angel sighed.

"How are you at dancing?" She changed the subject.

"Um, I don't know, ok I guess, why?"

"Well, I was thinking we could do the dance scene, you know 'pilgrim's hand.'"

"Oh, oh no I can't dance in front of everyone. They make fun of me enough."

"No, I don't mean like ballroom dancing, it'll just be like a simple step. I just wanted to know if you can keep rhythm."

"Oh, ok I can do that, I guess."

"Awesome! We'll work on it at lunch is that ok?"

"Actually can we start tomorrow? I'm a little busy today," he motioned to all the papers.

"Alright that works."

Diane rambled on for a few minutes about her ideas for the scene, Angel only half listened. Soon Collins stopped the class and had them write down their scene and who was in the group.

He went on to to talk about their new lesson, Angel quickly got lost as he discussed grammar. But soon the tournament was over as the bell rang.

"Finally!"Angel whispered, he quickly grabbed his stuff and tried to take off.

"Oh, Angel," Collins called stopping him dead in his tracks.

He slowly turned around, "Yes?"

"I would like you to stop by at lunch, ok? I'll help you catch up with your work."

Angel didn't get it he was so harsh earlier, "um, a-are you sure?"

He nodded, "Alright, see you in a bit."

The next few classes blurred by, did Collins really want to see him? Why was he being so cold? Didn't he want to be with him? Finally it was time for art class, he was to chase away all the cookies of doubt in his head. He focused and began to sketch on a canvas for a future painting.

He drew a girl cuffed and tied up, bleeding on the ground in front of a cross, a group of people stood over her laughing. He paused and stared at it, this was going to get him sent to the school counselor... Again. He put the canvas in his backpack and started over. He drew one of his punk rock girls dressed up as a marionette puppet, her strings were being controlled by a man in a suit.

 _Eh, that's better,_ he thought and began to paint it.

After one more class it was time for lunch, he slowly made his way back to Collins room. When he arrived he hesitated before opening the door. Inside Collins sat reading a book, when he heard the door he looked up and smiled.

"There you are, I was beginning to think you were going to ditch me," he smiled.

"Really? I-i thought you were mad."

"No," he started to chuckle. "In class you're my student nothing more, and you shouldn't sass you're teacher."

"I didn't sass, you have to admit, it's a lot of work," he shrugged still standing by the door.

"I know, I'm sorry. You look really nice though, I like your outfit."

"Oh," Angel blushed and looked down. "Thanks, Tom."

"You know you don't have to stand so far, you can sit down," Collins smiled.

He dropped his bag and walked over to Collins, he sat on the desk. He pulled his legs up and crossed them.

"So, do you know why I really asked you here?" Collins asked.

"To help me with my homework?" He giggled not sure what to think.

"Well, no," Collins looked away and blushed, obviously nervous. "What are you doing after school today?"

"Um, I'm not sure why?"

"Well, would you like to come over... To my house?"

A huge smiled spread across Angel's face, "I-i'd love to."

"Alright, awesome!"

"Where should I meet you? Here?"

"Um... Somewhere close but maybe where people won't see us?"

"There's a hardware store a block away I could meet you there?"

"Ok, yea I'll be there," Collins smiled.

"Alright," he giggled and stood up. "I can let you get back to work."

"Honestly, I'm not doing much you can stay if you wanted."

"Ok," he retook his perch on top of the desk and stared at Collins.

"What?" He laughed turning red.

"Nothing, you're just cute when you blush," Angel smirked and bit his lip getting lost in thought for a moment. "Can I, can I have a kiss."

"Of course, but just a quick one."

The couple smiled and shared a short wonderful kiss.

 **i hope you enjoyed!**


	7. Home

**Sup, I've been reading lots of Hamilton fanfics and I low key hate myself for it**

 **Ps this is a long ass chapter**

School ended and Angel rushed to the store, he couldn't wait! He passed the coffee shop and music store where most of the students would hang out, he tried to pass casually and ignored the name-calling, he couldn't be bothered. Finally he made it to the store it was deserted inside except for the cashier. It was a small mom & pop store with narrow aisle. Angel mused as he wandered around looking at all the things he could potentially build; a shelf, a bird house, anything simple. He stopped when he saw rows of exacto knives and box cutters they were hanging perfectly from pegs on the wall. He looked over his shoulder and saw how perfectly he was out of sight from the cashier. They were new and beautiful, perfectly sharpened, he grabbed a pack of replacement blades and tucked them into his sleeve. He couldn't help himself.

He stared to head for the door, he wanted to get out of there before getting caught. Thankfully, Collins pulled up next to the shop and waited for him. Collins smiled when be saw him approach and rolled down the window.

"Hey handsome, need a lift?" Collins smirked trying not to laugh.

Angel rolled his eyes good natured, "I'm not supposed to take rides from strangers."

"Oh, I'm a stranger?" He pretended to be hurt.

He climbed into the passenger seat and poked him, "Well, you certainly are strange."

"Very funny," Collins laughed.

They were quiet for a minute, but there was something on the back of Angel's mind.

"Hey Tom?" He started nervously. "Can I ask u something stupid that I should have asked you awhile ago?"

"Sure, anything."

"H-how old are you?"

"Ahh," Collins chuckled nervously. "I'm, I'm 26."

"Ok, that's pretty young for a teacher," the latino said comfortingly.

"Yeah, well I'm still just a substitute."

"For the whole year," he smiled and rolled his eyes.

"Alright, well we're here," Collins informed pulling into a driveway.

It was a simple white and brick, one storey house with a huge porch, and a chimney.

"I know this house, I-I pass by this house everyday on my way to school," Angel was shocked. "How long have you lived here?"

"Um," Collins thought about it while they got out of the car."I'd say about, three months now? It used to be my grandmother's."

"Oh, where is she?" He asked without thinking.

The older man stopped and gave him a questioning look, "Ang. She died."

He realized the mistake, "Oh, oh my God, I'm so sorry."

"It's ok."Collins gave a reassuring smile and unlocked the door. "The place is kind of a mess."

And that was the truth, the door opened to reveal a small hallway with the living room and dining room in sight. All the furniture was old and matched but it was hard to tell, dirty clothes and books covered every surface, and part of the floor.

"Wow, this is a nice place," Angel looked around.

"Yeah, I don't get company very often," he said trying to pick things up and organize the mess. "I wasn't even expecting to have you over the idea kind of just came to me."

He grabbed Collins hands, "Don't worry, it doesn't bother me. Can I have a tour?"

"But of course!" He offered an arm. " Well here is the living room, and dining area."

Angel looked around it had a country feel to everything. They walked into the kitchen next, it was the cleanest room he'd seen so far, save for the trash can that was over flowing.

"Not much of a cook?" He joked.

"Nope, just lazy."

Next was the study, a room full of books, the walls were covered in bookshelves and in the center was a desk facing the door with a computer on it.

"Oooh," Angel wandered in. "Do you mind"

"Not at all, enjoy yourself." Collins smiled. "This is where I can spend most of my time."

The Latino walked to the desk and sat down. He immediately started going through the drawers.

"Oh, I can tell you spend sometime here," he laughed reaching in the drawer to reveal a baggie or joints, he also pulled out 4 lighters, a bag of weed, and a glass pipe to smoke it in. He looked again and pulled out a bong.

"This is quite a collection," he admired.

Collins laughed and walked into the room. "Thanks, Angelcake. Shall we continue."

"I'd rather spark up," he ran the joint under his nose like one with a cigar.

"Another time baby," he offered a hand.

They walked down the hall past the bathroom, not much to see, to the last room.

"And this is my room."

Angel walked in dropped his bag onto the floor and flopped onto the bed giggling. He reached for a picture on the nightstand Collins sat next to him.

"Is this your family?" He asked.

"Yup, this was my grandma's favorite picture. There's my mom, Anita, my dad, Ed, my older brother Jesse, and me." He pointed. "I was probably eight when we took this."

"You look adorable!"

"Thanks," he rolled his eyes good natured.

"Hey, Collins," Angel put down the picture scooting closer.

"Hmm?" He leaned closer.

"I was wondering... if we could..." the younger man leaned in and captured Collins in a kiss.

 **(warning.. softcore smut?)**

He parted his lips slightly gaining access to Collins mouth, their tongues exploring the warmth. Hands began to move pulling each other closer, they got more and more heated by the second. They had freedom here they didn't have to worry about anyone seeing or walking in on them. Angel wrapped her arms around his neck trying to pull him closer. He eased Angel onto his back letting hands roam across chest and flat stomach. His hands drifting up his shirt a bit. Angel's hands moved as well, one removed his beanie and moved his fingers through the short crinkly hair and the other rested on his heart.

Angel soon shifted his legs, he could now feel Collins bulge pressed against his thigh. He blushed and let out a small nervous laugh, not sure what to think or do. He shifted again, causing him to rub up against him unsure if it was an accident or instinct, regardless he felt his own jeans get tighter. Collins took the grinding as a sign to move forward. He let his hands fall lower, and lower until they reached the hem of the Latinos jeans. Slowly, and fairly clumsily he tried to unbutton the jeans to gain better access and continue what they started.

Angel quickly realized what was going on and broke the kiss, "wait, wait, wait, honey." He pushed the older man slightly.

"What's wrong?" He looked down giving his lover some space, Angel was wide eyed and looked scared. "I won't hurt you."

"No, I-It's n-not that, w-well not just that. I'm just not ready."

"Oh," Collins immediately felt guilty he didn't mean to push. "Too soon, I'm sorry Ang."

"It's f-fine, it's not your f-fault I've just never... never done-" Angel's face turned bright red, he couldn't get the words out.

Collins tried to help, sitting him up next to him and finishing his sentence for him. "-it with a guy before."

"With anyone..." he corrected and fell over trying to hide his face and tears in the blankets.

"Oh, honey I'm sorry, come here," Collins leaned back against the headboard with his legs crisscrossed inviting Angel to curl up in his lap.

He obliged still keeping his face, Collins laughed trying to make him feel better.

"Hey, why you hiding your face." Angel slowly lifted his head there were tears in his eyes and rolling down his cheeks. Collins pulled him closer, "Why are you crying?"

"You must think I'm such a jerk. I led you on just to fake you out like some tease, cause I'm still a virgin."

"There's nothing wrong with that," Collins reassured.

"I feel so bad though, because I know you wanted to. I don't know, if I had some booze maybe.. I could loosen up enough to-"

"Angel," he interrupted. " It ok if you don't want to do that, it's not a problem. But the last thing I want to do is get you smashed so I can have my way with you. If you're not ready, you don't have to."

He pulled Collins into a tight hug, "Thank you."

"No need baby."

Silence fell between them, "What should we do now?" Angel asked.

"Hmmm, well you can show me some more of your artwork."

"Ok!" He smiled brightly and climbed off his lap grabbing his backpack.

He threw it open and pulled out the half broken book. He flipped through pages getting more, and more into the drawings. Explaining who the characters were, why they were doing things, and what they were doing. Collins listened in admiration of how passionate he was about his art. But he did notice something sticking out of the backpack, it was a small white canvas. He reached over and pulled it out to have a better look. It was the one from art class, the cuffed girl with all the ridicule and hatred around her,drowning in religion. Angel realized he had it and stoped talking.

"Why don't you do it?" He asked.

"What?" Angel seemed shocked.

"Dress like this, you and I both know you want to."

"I can't," he whispered.

"Cause of this?" He tapped Angel's temple, "Or this?" He motioned to the chaos.

"Both? Me? I don't know," he begged for the conversation to be over.

Angel grabbed Collins hat and placed it over his head to hide his face again.

"Now, Miss Angel," he wrapped his arms around the scared man. "Did you know that I happen to know a few drag queens? And if they have taught me anything about themselves it's that you can't hide or be afraid of who you are forever,you'll break."

"I'm just not ready, so I dont have to," Angel used his own words against him.

"Alright, alright, I won't push," he was trying to stay calm. "But if one day, you do decide to dress this way you would be the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

Angel stayed silent not sure how to react or what to say. After a few more minutes of silence they were able to calm down and relax, they started a new conversation. They talked until the sun had set and the house was mostly dark. It was amazing to just be free and themselves.

 **imma stop this chapter here because it literally goes on for another 5 pages in my notebook.**

 **Hope you enjoyed r &r**


	8. silent night

**Been far too long... but I dyed my hair pink and it's beautiful!**

Giggles and stories made the time fly by, everything was going great until someone, or rather something interrupted them.

"...And that's how i broke my arn," Collins finished his story.

"Wow your brother sounds like an asshole."

"He was," they shared a laugh and cuddles closer.

Collins wrapped his arm around Angel'desist and gave him a slight squeeze making him laugh harder. The motion triggered something in Angel's body causing his stomach to growl loudly.

"Oooh, someone's hungry," he teased.

"Maybe a bit," the Latino admitted with a smile.

"Sounds more like you _starving!"_

 _"_ As, yes help I'm going to faint if i don't get something to eat soon!" Touching the back of his hand to his forehead in a true diva fashion, letting go.

"Oh, no! My poor Angel!" He picked him up and rushed him down the hall laughing. "Quick! Before it's too late!"

"Ahhh! Don't drop me!"

"Haha, I won't. You're really light," he tossed the latino into the air a bit for example.

Angel tightened his grip around Collins almost in tears from laughing. He carried him to the couch and dropped him onto the cushions with a plop. Collins winked then headed into the kitchen.

"Hey!" Angel followed after him. "So what's on the menu?"

"Hmmmmmm... you?" Angel turned bright red and gave a small shy smile. "Naaaw, how about about some pasta?"

"Uh, sure..."

Collins looked over to him, "not sound so good?"

"No just, I don't know.."

He chuckled, "What do you want to eat?"

"Pancakes.."he mumbled.

"What?" He asked not able to hear him.

"Pancakes, it's my favorite."

Collins laughed, "Then pancakes we will have!"

"Thank you," he gave a shy smile.

"Now go sit down, I'll call you when it's ready," the older man gave a kiss."

"Ok," he obeyed and sat at the table so he can still see and talk to his budding love.

But something was on the back of his mind. He had a lot of questions he was too scared to ask, well too scared to start a conversation. There was only one way he was going to be able to ask and that was if he blurted them out.

"Hey, Tom?"

"Yes, Angelcake?" He called.

"Is it going to hurt?"

He heard the older man laugh, "I assure you, that I am a halfway decent cook, so no I don't think it's going to upset your stomach."

"No, I mean when we, well I mean if we... you know." He was bright red and flustered, "is it going to hurt?"

"Oh," Collins wandered over to the table in deep thought, and sigh trying to find the words to say, "Do you want the truth?" Angel nodded. "Probably," he answered to his young lover's disappointment, "but it's only because you won't be used to the feeling at first, and you'll end up being sore the next day. But if we do it I'm going to do my best to make sure it doesn't hurt, ok?" Collins gave him a kiss on the forehead. "Any other questions?"

"H-how many people have you been with?"

Collins sighed again, "More than I should have been with..."

"How many is-"

"Too many... I've been with a lot of people, probably at least 60," he admitted shamefully.

"That's, that's a lot..." He said softly. "Weren't you worried about getting AIDS?"

"It was a different world a few years ago. We didn't have to worry about that or rather we didn't know we had to worry."

"Ha-have you been tested?"

"Yes my Angel, three time, I'm fine."

He let out a breath of relief. Collins hated to relive all of his drunken and high regrets of his sexual history. He understood why Angel was asking him but it didn't make it easier. Regardless, if it made him more comfortable, he'd answer any question.

"Anything else?"

"Yes... uh, when did u l-lise your virginity?"

"Well, first of all virginity is a social construct to make people..." seeing the confusion and unamuzed look on Angels face he stopped his anarchist rant. "I was 15 and I had a sleep over with my best friend who I was crushing on. I told him how i was confused about my sexuality and scared."

"You were scared?"

"Of course I was, I didn't think it was a good thing especially with what was going on in the news about it. I thought it was the worst thing someone could be, I know better know obviously. Anyway, I told him I was scared and that I like him, so we did it, right there in his parents basement."

"H-how was it?"

"Awkward, neither of us really knew what we were doing at first," he laughed. "We figured it out though."

This filled Angel with more questions the began to pour out of him, "Well, what happened to him? Why aren't you guys together anymore?"

"We were young, and horny, he cheated on me. We had been dating in secret for a few months and it broke my heart not being able to tell people why I was upset. I thought I was in love with him so I was crushed, so after that I came out to my parents. I swore off relationships and slept with as many people as I could throughout high school and college. But once there was the HIV outbreak happened it was the wake up call I needed, so I stopped. I realized sex is fun but nothing beats a meaningful relationship." He grabbed Angel's smaller hand.

He smiled and tried to change the subject of Collins heart break, "um, do u need any help in the kitchen?"

"Nah, I got it," Collins smiled and got up.

"Oh, wait!"

"Yes?"

"Thank you, for everything."

"Of course," he came over to give Angel a quick peck.

Soon the dinner was done, perfectly cooked pancakes, with one Mickey shaped one. Collins claimed it was a secret family recipie, but saw a box of aunt jemima pancake mix on the counter. The ate then moved to cuddle on the couch and watch tv until late into the night. Well, until 11 o'clock on a school night.

"We should get you home, it's getting late," Collins mentioned not loosening his grip.

"Noooo, not yet," Angel snuggled deeper.

"Yes, come on A ngelcake! I'll see you tomorrow and you can come over again! And we'll watch a movie ok?"

"Haha which one?"

"We'll figure it out tomorrow. Is that ok though? Would you like to come over?"

"Of course Tom, I'd love to!"

Collins smiled and helped Angel off the couch, "Come on, I'll walk you home," he smiled.

the two held hands and slowly made their way back in silence, mostly. There weren't many people who'd be out this late in such a sleepy town so they weren't worried about being seen. All too soon they reached the edge of Angel's lawn.

"Alright," Collins sighed with a small smile, "You're home, safe and sound."

"Thanks," he smiled back sweetly.

The silence set in both boys were still smiling not sure what to do. Angel looked at his house and noticed all of the lights still on inside.

"I should go," he said sadly curious about the lights.

"Ok Baby," Collins gave Angel a quick hug and kiss.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"You too!"

Angel turned and walked up to the porch hiding a smile. He gave one last wave before going inside, he walked in staring at his feet the wide smile spread across his face.

"Oh, My sweet ANGEL! There you are!" his mother had thrown herself around him in a hug.

There was a moment of hesitation before he returned the hug. His mom never acted like this but it was a nice change. After a moment she let go and he saw the real reason she acting like this.

"Hello Father," he walked over and shook hands with the priest.

"Hi Ángel," he said warmly.

"I'm sorry I missed dinner I forgot."

"It's ok, we've only had it planned for three weeks," his mother poorly attempted to keep the sarcasm out of her voice.

"Mom, I'm sorry ok?"

"Now, Now you two," the priest interjected. "All is forgiven, I'm sure Ángel has a reasonable excuse."

"He better," his dad grumbled.

"I-I uh, was out on a date," he stammered.

"Really?" His parents asked their jaws hit the floor.

"Y-yeah, I went out with a g-girl..." he said with very little confidence. "who goes to my school."

"Well hey! good job," his dad patted him on the back,"I was starting to think you'd never get a girlfriend."

"Haha, yea thanks," he lowered his voice.

"Well still you shouldn't be keeping girls out this late."

' _Ah, yes, its never about my safety,'_ he thought.

"I'm sorry, and Father, I'm sorry about missing dinner but I should really be going to bed."

"As should I, it is getting quite late."

They nodded to each other and with that he hurried up stairs to the safety of his bedroom.

 **not much happened in this chapter sorry :S but I hope yall liked it**


	9. teenage mind

**trying to type and upload as much as possible this chapter might be short but hey its ok right better than nothing**

 **a lil risqué for the t rating but it will be moved to m in the next chapter so be prepared for a little bit of dick talking... sorry**

 **but yea after this it will be in the m section! so if u actually like it and want to keep reading itll be there**

Shirts were carelessly thrown on the floor, bodies were touching, things were getting heated. Laying on Collins bed Angel looked up at his lover, things were escalating quickly and Angel couldn't wait anymore, he didn't want to and with the slightest nod he wouldn't have to. Hands of the two men roamed and rushed fumbling with buttons and zippers and... and...

"Angel?!" Diane called again snapping him out of his fantasies.

"Oh, what? yeah I like that idea," he fumbled for his papers scattered around him.

He couldn't keep his mind off of Collins or sex anymore and it was wrecking his nerves, his stomach had been in knots all day. His boxers were practically soaked from the precum that had been dripping out of him while he thought of different fantasies and scenarios. He wasn't ready but he couldn't wait for it to happen.

"Alright then! let's do it!" Diane got up from the table extending a hand.

"I-I"m sorry what?" Scared of what he offered and what she would see if he stood.

He had been daydreaming too much he needed to settle down and focus, they were supposed to be planning their project. It was lunch time and they were sitting by and abandoned table by the band room, it was a quiet place far from anyone it was good incase of any fumbles or self conscious mistakes.

"I was saying, since we are don't the scene Pilgrams _HAND_ let's make the dancing scene less about our feet and more about our feet!" she enthusiastically recapped.

"Oh, yeah that'll be good," he flipped through their scene. "You know we still haven't decided on and ending."

"Oh, you mean the kiss? we'll just skip that part," she dismissed.

"Alright good, well I-I mean nothing against you I just don't like you like that. Or even know you that well..." the latino over explained himself.

She laughed trying to put his mind at ease, "And that's why we are cutting the kiss."

Angel smiled a little relieved she wasn't offended. Through the rest of lunch they worked out the steps and practiced, by the time the bell rang they had perfected it.

"Alright see you Monday!" She shouted taking off in the opposite direction of him.

Angel waved and watched her leave.

After school Collins and Angel immediately went to his house. It was their oasis, they could be themselves and alone.

"Finally!" Collins sighed and flopped onto the couch.

"What's wrong?" Angel giggled.

"Absolutely nothing!" he smiled. "It's Friday!"

"Oh... Someone hates school!"

"Trust me all of the teachers hate it as much as the students do."

Angel smiled and sat nest to him wrapping their arms around each other.

"Hey, Tom?" He asked nervously.

"Yeeeeees Angelcake?"

He blushed a little at his favorite pet name, "Do you think I could, I mean, can I ummm….. Can I spend the night?"

"Of course honey!" he hugged the latino tight.

"Yay," he said quietly. "C-can I sleep in the bed with you? Or will I be on the couch?"

"With me of course! I'd never banish you to the couch!"

Angel felt a little silly for asking but still wanted to be sure, "Haha ok!"

 **hey guys guess what! I get to go to Disneyworld! with my boyfriend im so excited!**

 **ps I hope u like this story theres a lot of smut to come so I hope u continue to read it!**


	10. damp dreams change minds

**yaaay mature** **-ish** **content!**

 **And it only gets worse from here (lots of sex scenes to cum ;D)**

 **its still rather tame soo... i didnt bump it up to M yet if u think i should let me know!**

Angel's eyes fluttered open in the middle of the night, pleasure wracked every part of his body. He let out a shaky sigh as his brain processed what had just happened. The calming come down immediately turned to shock and embarrassment as he felt a warm sticky liquid in his pajama pants.

"Fuck!" He shot up fully conscious.

He had a wet dream.

He looked out of the corner of his eye luckily Collins was still sound asleep. Carefully he crept out of bed and down the hall. He looked at his reflection in the bathroom mirror in disgust.

"Are you fucking serious?" He scolded himself. "I can't believe this," he said beginning to clean the mess.

When he finished he balled up the toilet paper and threw it in the toilet when the door suddenly flee open. He almost jumped out of his skin, standing there was a very dazed and nervous looking Collins.

"Oh, hey," he said a little awkwardly, "I, uh, should habe knocked huh? I thought u were in the kitchen. I'm really sorry."

"Oh, sorry, No but I-I'm all done here so you go ahead."

"Thanks," he moved to let the latino exit.

Collins stepped in and looked at Angel briefly feeling his face heat up. Angel stood there not sure if he should walk away or wait, he let out a nervous laugh. After another moment he finally shut the door and Angel took off running, threw himself on the bed covering his face, burying himself underneath all of the blanket, trying to hide from the embarrassment.

Two minutes later Collins came back in and laid down.

"Ngelcake? Are you in there?" He asked the mound of sheets next to him.

"Nnnnngggg" the pile grumbled in response.

"Am I going to have to cuddle this mountain of fluff all night?"

Finally the pile shifted and Angel appeared.

"Hey there gorgeous? I was wondering when is see you again."

"Thanks,"he curled up to the larger man. "What woke you up?"

"My Angel was missing," he gave him a small kiss on the cheek.

"Seriously," Angel pushed lightly and sat up.

Collins let out a long sigh, "You want to know the truth?"

"Yes."

"Well, what were you doing out of bed?" he changed the subject.

"Come on, just tell me! Did I wake you up?"

"No, I-I" Another sigh. "Ok I'll tell you but you have you promise you won"t laugh ok?"

"Promise."

"I had a wet dream" Collins spat put the words.

Angel stared at him confused not sure if he was making fun of him.

"What?" He asked the older man.

"I know! I feel like I'm 14 again. I'm really sorry Ang I just really like you." He turned bright red.

Angel gave a half hearted smile and turned the same shade "So did I."

"Really?" Collins tried to hold back his laughter.

"You're laughing at me," the latino shrugged away on the verge of a panic attack.

"No, no, I just mean damn baby hahaha you should have just woken me up!"

"Oh," A small smile spread across his face. "Maybe next time." He laid back down and scooted closer.

Impressed with his bravery but drowsy from everything he sighed, "Yes, but no more tonight cause I don't know about you but I'm spent," he stretched and wrapped his arm around him.

"Yea," he nuzzled feeling more relaxed and happy.

 _I need to talk to Mimi tomorrow..._ That was the last thought that ran through his head before going to sleep.

* * *

Collins was violently ripped from his dreams, he felt like he was being crushed. As his mind focused he realized what was happening, his eyes focused and he saw his happy , way too perky for 7 am Angel sitting on his stomach..

"Good morning!" He chirped.

"Its too early!" Collins grumbled grabbing onto the man's thighs.

"Ok, grumpy! I'll let you sleep. Do you mind if I use your phone?"

"Who are you going to call?" He asked suddenly more awake.

"Just my friend Mimi."

"Mimi?" He said in disgust, "That pill popper?"

"She doesn't 'pop pills,'" Angel got off of his lap.

"she's definitely doing harder stuff than the common stoner."

"Ok, but that's her business and she's been my only friend since I was 6 years old."

"Alright babe, I'm sorry I just don't think she's a good influence." he kissed the Latino's hand.

"She's great once you get to know her. It's just I'm having a hard time with her new friends."

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know, I wish you could hang out with us I'm too awkward. You would probably make it easier to have fun with them."

"Well, maybe if you were more of 'yourself' and more confident you wouldn't need me around."

A huge smile spread across Angel's face, "But I want you around."

Collins pulled him into a tight hug, "Good! But if you don't like her friends why do you want to cal her?"

Angel suddenly remembered how the whole conversation started. "Right! oh, ok you'll find out tomorrow. It's a surprise."

"I have enough weed, thank you though," Collins teased trying to guess.

"I think i might be gone for the rest of the day though," he said watching Collins face fall a bit. "But I'll call you tonight and I'll come over tomorrow."

"Ok, sounds great,"he kissed him. "Can you at least stay for breakfast?"

"Of course!"

"Alright, you make your phone call I'm gonna shower,"Collins threw the covers and got out of bed.

Angel took a deep breath as he dialed Mimi's number. It rang ten times before she finally picked up.

"What do you want?" Mimi asked half awake.

"It's Angel, I need your help with something."

"Uh-huh," she yawned. "And what would that be?"

"I want to go shopping with you... Right now."

"Ya, um what time is it?"

"It's almost nine."

"Uh-huh, ya that's too damn early for a Saturday. Good night."

"Wait! Mimi, this is really important!"

"What is more important than sleeping off a hangover?"

Angel sighed and clenched his teeth, "Remember when we were playing dress up? I was 8 you were 6 and I wore your Cinderella dress and I said I wanted to dress like that everyday..." he trailed off unsure if he still wanted to do this and make sure Collins wasn't around.

Mimi squealed loudly on the other end, "oooooohhhh, is today the day? Are you saying what I think you're saying? oh Chico! I mean chica!"

"Mimi! keep it down!" Angel begged. He heard someone stir on Mimi's end of the line his stomach sank. "U-Uh Wh-WHo was that?" he asked.

"Just roger, he's so grumpy without his beauty sleep."

"Did he hear anything?" he asked quickly.

"I don't think so, why?"

"I just, just want to keep this between us I really don't want word to get out. I get beat up enough."

"You're paranoid," Angel could almost hear her rolling her eyes.

"I'll be there at 11 ok, just be ready and no roger, please."

"Ok, ok he'll be gone. I can't believe you're doing this! Finally."

"Me either, t-thanks I'll see you in a bit girl," Angel hung up the phone and made his way back toward Collins room to wait.

He stopped dead in his tracks at the sight before him. Collins stood there shuffling through the drawers still soaking wet from the shower, wearing only a towel around his waist. Angel couldn't move or say anything he was too scared and turned on. Every fiber of his being wanted to throw him on the bed and have him make love too him, he also wanted to run and hide embarrassed. his muscles were tense waiting for the moment to run or pounce but instead, he just watched and waited to see Collins next move. Which didn't take long the older man turned around and started blushing.

"Oh, sorry I was just looking for a shirt. I-I forgot to grab one," Collins said nervously.

Angel stood there silently his hands started to shake but he kept a poker face the best he could. Collins kept stumbling over his sentences, he finally stops talking when Angel is within inches of him. He reaches out his hand and placed it on Collins damp chest dragging it down his toned flat stomach tracing the muscles.

"Angel," he whispered placing his finger under the Latino's chin pulling him into a kiss.

Angel wrapped his arm around him deepening the kiss, opening his mouth slightly inviting Collins tongue which was immediately accepted. their tongues danced exploring the warmth of the others mouth. After a moment Collins broke the kiss.

"What's gotten into you this morning?" he teased staring deep into Angel's eyes.

He giggled, "Just trying to be more open and the person I want to be... with you."

"I like it," Collins stroked his lover's cheek gently.

"Good."

They stood there in silence not sure of what to do next. Collins grabbed a shirt once again, "I'm going to get dressed, then I'll start breakfast, okay?"

"Sounds good," Angel ducked his head down blushing. "I'm meeting Mimi at 11 though."

"Well it's only 9," he teased.

"Oh, right..."

Angel sat at the table sketching as Collins cooked, it was a personal favorite of his French Toast. He watched Angel out of the corner of his eye, he was looking back and fourth between him and his sketch book.

"What are you drawing over there?" he asked after a few silent minutes.

"You," Angel stated in a matter of fact voice.

"Oh really?" he cocked an eyebrow. "More dirty sketches?"

"No," Angel blushed and clutched the sketch book close to his chest. "I-I don't know, I just wanted to draw you cooking."

"May I see?" He wrapped his arms around Angel's shoulders.

"NO!" he giggled. "Why don't you focus on the food you're burning instead?"

"Shit!" Collins ran back to the stove and turned it off. "Breakfast is served... well done."

As they ate Collins stared at the sketch book, it was really beat up, the spine of it was ripped reveling the cardboard underneath, pages were loose and falling out of it. It wasn't very usable.

"how old is that?" he motioned to the book.

"Maybe about a month?" Angel kept his eyes on the food in front of him.

"What happened?"

"Football players, you know that. I'm not particularly popular with them."

"Right, I'm really sorry hun. We can get you a new one, if you want?"

"No, I'm ok, this one works fine."

"If you're sure."

They finished breakfast and watched tv for a bit and talked. 10:30 came and Angel sighed "I should go."

Collins gave him a squeeze, "alright."

He got up and began to put on his shoes, "I'll call you tonight and maybe we can hang out tomorrow."

"I'd like that," Collins smiled still laying in the same position, "I'll miss you. Don't get hit on." He winked.

"I won't have you seen me?" he stood up.

Collins walked him to the door and hugged him, "Be careful." he smiled.

Angel stood on his tip toes to give him a kiss, "I will be, I'll call you later."

 **long ass long chapter... sorry for the wait let me know if this chapter was too much i can bump it up to m**


	11. City

**my boyfriends roommate died so i missed rent live :-: i still havent seen it and have heard bad reviews but at least i got to see wilson and jesse together!**

Angel closed the front door of Collins house and hurried to Mimi's , she was only a few blocks away. His mind went to his wallet, he had enough money on him to get some clothes from the thrift stores, nothing from any department stores, too expensive. His stomach tied itself into knots, he couldn't get over the fact he was really going to do this.

It took fifteen minutes to get to her house he ran the last few feet. She was waiting for him, it wasn't hard to tell. As he approached the porch Roger was shoved out the door.

"Hey," Angel said looking at the ground.

the blonde didn't really know what to say, "She's really excited about something in there," Angel gave no response. "Uhhh, have fun."

Angel nodded screaming on the inside, _HE KNEW! He knows, Mimi told him! I'm going to kill her._

He walked up to the door and knocked harshly, but got no response, "Come on I know you can see me!"

Mimi opened the door, she was dressed and ready to go, "No I can't."

"Well, you could at least here me."

"Ooooh, someone has either sass pants on," she mocked.

"Can we just go?" he begged.

"Yes!" she laughed and grabbed his hand pulling him down the street.

The two too the bus 2 1/2 hours into New York City. Angel's decision he couldn't risk being seen by his parents or someone from school.

"So... who are you getting all dolled up for?" Mimi finally asked.

"No one, I just wanted to," he shrugged.

"Bull. Shit. You would never do this on your own. Who is he?"

Angel sighed she wasn't going to get out of this, "It's no one, you don't know him."

"SO there is a guy?" she said with the biggest grin on her face.

"FIne, yes, there's a guy. I give up, I'm gay I admit it, now can we please drop this?"

"Who is her?"

Angel let out a sigh, "Don't worry about it."

"I will, does he go to our school? What's his name?"

His heart started to race, he had to lie, he wouldn't be able to leave it unanswered.

"His name is, Uhhh, Thomas, ok? happy?"

"Not yet," she squealed. "Does he go to our school?"

"Um, not really? He hangs out there sometimes, uh, I mean, he graduated already."

"Oooh, college boy."

"Mhmmm,"he nodded.

"Well, I'm glad to hear it," she leaned her head on his shoulder. "And no more crushes on teachers. It's no good, and the ones who do like you back are creeps. Trust me, I know first hand."

"I know," he nodded remembering her first heart break from last summer.

they rode the bus the rest of the way in silence. It seemed like an eternity before they got to their stop. But they made it to a street in Alphabet City full of thrift stores, record shops, antique stores, and other second hand stores. They could also see an open air market at the park nearby.

"What should we do first?" Angel asked feeling the nerves creep back up.

"Well," Mimi smiled as the thoughts came to her. "We need to see what kind of girl you want to be. So I suggest we start with hair. It's the base of everything."

Angel let out a nervous laugh, Mimi had a point, "You're the expert."

They walked into a wig store near by, the store was pretty empty except for a few workers.

"How can I help you guys?" A young lady asked.

She seemed cool and down to earth in a sense, her arm were covered in tattoos and half of her head was shaved.

Mimi pushed Angel forward, "My friend here is looking for a wig to let _HER_ inner self free."

"Oh," she smiled. "Say no more."

The lady sat Angel down in a salon chair and placed a wig cap on his head.

"I'm Tiffany, by the way," she introduced.

"Angel," he said softly.

"Nice name, so what are we thinking?"

"I-I'm not sure," he looked at Mimi desperately for answers.

"Something girly, and fun, but still fierce and sexy," Mimi answered.

"Tall order," Tiffany raised an eyebrow.

Over the next hour he tried on more wigs than he could count, long ones, curly ones, ones in every color of the rainbow. But none of them he loved, even though there was a long blonde one the girls thought was stunning.

"This isn't working, just pick one!" Mimi complained bored out of her mind.

"Here Sweetie, why don't you take a break, walk around pick out one that speaks to you," Tiffany took the cap off of Angel's head.

He got out of the chair and wandered the aisles alone. On the top shelf in the back of the store there was a wig that caught his eye. It was a short, black bob, and it was perfect. Sleek and feminine but simple. He grabbed the mannequin head it stood on and brought it back a huge smile spread across his face.

Mimi was shocked when she saw it,"That one? But it's so short?"

"Don't argue," Tiffany smiled brushing the wig. " _She's_ the boss."

She carefully positioned the wig on his head and turned him around to see the mirror. Both girls were smiling uncontrollably and Angel couldn't believe how he looked. He felt so beautiful and confident like the girl he always drew himself as.

"This the one," he claimed.

They paid for it and left the store making sure to thank Tiffany a hundred was so giddy he couldn't wait for the next store. They walked into a second hand clothing store next, and Angel had no fear. As they looked through the racks Angel had a thought.

"We should live here," he said.

"In the clothing store?" Mimi laughed.

"No! In New York City. We could rent an apartment together and do stuff like this together all the time, and not worry about how I dress or love, or if my family disowns me."

"Me too, that sounds nice. Then we can do whatever, with whoever, whenever we wanted."

"Is sex and drugs all you think about?"

"No, I think about other things like how my best friend is coming out! FINALLY!"

"Yeah, yeah calm down."

They looked through the entire store before finding a few outfits to try on. Angel was just too picky and Mimi kept insisting on the shortest and tightest things she could find.

"Are you sure they don't have this in long sleeves?" Angel asked for the tenth time.

"No, its a thrift store you're lucky that's in your size."

Angel sighed before stepping into the dressing room. His nerves began to the better of him, this was a bad and stupid idea and he wanted to leave. But there was no escaping now, he realized in the tiny room. As he undressed he looked in the mirror that took up one wall. He hated every inch of his body, his long arms that hung too low,the small layer of fat on his stomach that never could go away no matter how many meals he skipped. But most of all, he hated the scars that littered his arms and legs, even though he was the cause of those. He turned away from the mirror and put on the clothes he and Mimi picked out.

"Hurry up!" Mimi squealed. "You've been in there forever!"

"I'm coming," he huffed buttoning the skirt.

The complete outfit was on, save for the wig, it was time to see himself. He took a deep breath and turned around, and he thought he looked amazing, he cupped his hand over his mouth to muffle a scream.

"Oh, My God! Open Up!" Mimi pounded on the door more.

With his hand still over his mouth and his eyes tearing up he threw open the door.

Mimi began screaming, "OH. My. God. Girl! You look so hot I can't believe that's you!"

"I look amazing," he said shyly.

"No! You look better than that look at those legs! Damn! Where's the wig?"

Mimi pushed passed him to the shopping bag that held his wig and carefully placed it on Angel's head. She then stood in between Angel and the mirror.

"Presenting Angel Dumott Schunard!"

Angel's teary eyes finally spilled over as he- well, she saw herself for the first time as the person she wanted to be. The outfit was perfect: bright green leggings with pictures of New York on it, A white tennis skirt with flowers, and a tight pink shirt with a faded blue heart on it. there was a sweater with each sleeve a different color on it that she threw over it and zipped it up. She was beautiful.

"I can't believe that's me," she said proudly.

"Well, it is! Now show me more clothes!" Mimi demanded.

Angel shut the door and tried on three more outfits loving each one more and breaking more and more out of his shell. She opened the door to show Mimi the last outfit, when an old lady gave Angel a dirty look.

Angel gave her the same dirty look, "What?"

"You're disgusting!" She spat.

Normally, he would have ran away or shut the door to hide and cry, but this wasn't Ángel this was Angel and she was pissed.

"Listen here, boy," the woman started.

"I'd rather not," She shrugged and slowly closed the dressing room door slowly giggling.

She took off the wig Adrenalin making her hands shake. She was finally fully happy and accepted who she really is and someone just had to ruin it. Angel put back on his normal clothes and wanted to hide.

What if he opened the door and the lady was waiting for him, or what if she told the manager and they were ready to kick him out.

"Ang? Need help?" Mimi tapped on the door.

"Uh, yeah just a minute," he shook his head.

he gathered the clothes and they checked out. Luckily everything was supper cheap. He got three outfits for ten dollars, so after that and the wig he still had fifteen dollars left. He told Mimi and the two of them laughed money went so fast these days.

"Wanna use the last bit for lunch?" she suggested.

"That sounds amazing! I'm starving."

"There's a cafe just down the road, Meet you there?" Mimi asked.

"What, Why?"

She pulled a cigarette out of her boot, "I don't want to stink you up with your new clothes."

"But... I mean we can walk together while you smoke, it might help the smell."

"I'm just going to go sit in that alley, don't worry I won't be long."

"Oh, ok," Angel nodded and headed down the road.

Honestly he was a little nervous, he didn't trust anyone in the city. There was always stories on the news about people getting shot or kidnapped, it freaked him out. He soon found himself in the safety of the restaurant, the sign said 'Life Cafe.'

He was quickly seated and looked over the menu, then at the walls, there was pictures and memorabilia of different events everywhere. The server soon came over, he was a young black man with long dreads tied back in a long pony tail.

"Hi, I'm Paul and I'll be... taking care of you tonight," his voice was as smooth as velvet and flirtatious, he had a mischievous smile. "What would you like first?"

He looked at Angel with such confidence and domination, the latino couldn't help but blush.

"Um, j-just two diet cokes," he looked down and smiled.

"Mhmm, waiting for you're date?' he asked.

"No, just my friend, she'll be here soon."

"Alright, be right back, handsome."

"Oh, n-no I'm I-I-I mean I have a boyfri-"

"So do I," He interrupted and winked. "I'll be right back."

Angel's jaw hit the floor, he was embarrassed and flattered that that guy was hitting on him but was mad and sad that he didn't say anything about Collins sooner.

After a few minutes went by before Paul came back, Angel was still alone. He put the drinks down then sat down in the booth on the opposite side of Angel.

"So, what are you doing tonight?" he asked.

"Nothing, why?" he asked confused.

"Want to go dancing?"

"I'm sorry," Angel choked on the drink putting two and two together.

"You, me, a club, some drinks, maybe some grinding?"

Angel's mind raced as he tried to find an excuse, "I'm busy."

"You said you were free," he contradicted.

"I-I mean I'm too young to drink."

"Hmmm, jail bait huh? Well we could just stay in... at my place have some fun."

"Angel, hey, who's this?" Mimi asked. "Some dessert before dinner?"

Paul got out of the booth and touched Angel's shoulders, "I'll come back for your orders and your answer." He walked into the kitchen.

Mimi sat there her jaw dropped but smiling she was on the come down from a high still, "Who was that?"

"Our waiter," he answered his eyes still glued on the door.

"Well what are you doing here?! Get back there! suck his dick!"

"No, he's so creepy! Way too forceful, and I'm seeing someone."

"You said you're seeing someone last! Meaning he's not top priority, meaning you should go suck his dick," she analyzed in a teasing fashion.

He changed the subject, "What took you so long? it was one cigarette."

Mimi held up a shopping bag, "I'm sorry your outfit just wasn't complete without it."

"Aww, Meems! You didn't have to. What is it?" he grabbed the bag, curious about what was inside.

"I just hope they fit."

Inside the bag was a shoe box with a beautiful pair of platform high heels. Angel wasted no time or words he kicked off his ratty old converse and put on the shoes.

"Oh, they're perfect!" he gushed. "I love them!"

he stood up they made him about six inches taller.

"I'm glad, you're going to give your man a heart attack tomorrow!"

"Well, I'm going to try not to kill him but I do hope he's impressed."

He did one more twirl before sitting back down. The two friends ordered and had a great lunch despite more forward attempts from the flirty waiter. Soon the bill came Angel paid and took the receipt. Written on the bottom of the paper, however, was a note.

 _Let's have fun some time. -Paul_

Followed by a phone number, Angel groaned in annoyance and stuffed the paper in his pocket.

They took the long bus ride back to their shitty homophobic neighborhood. By the time they got back it was already seven. All Angel wanted to do was go home and call Collins, but Mimi had other plans.

"Come on," she grabbed his hand and dragged him away from his house.

"No, I want to go home," he pulled away.

"No, I need to show you how to do your make up."

"Ugh, fine but let's make this quick."

Mimi took him to her house and upstairs to her room. She took out a huge bag and dumped it on the floor, she began grabbing bottles of foundation and testing it on his skin.

"Ok anything that matches your skin tone you can have."

"Thanks," he smiled.

Carefully, Mimi applied the make up to only the left half of his face. While she explained how to do it. Once she was done she handed him a mirror.

"whatcha think?"

"I think I look good!" he smiled and covered the half of his face that didn't have makeup.

"Your turn," Mimi said pushing the make up on his lap.

"Ok" he laughed nervously. "I'll try."

He began to apply the make up. Even though it took him much longer than Mimi, when it was done it looked just as good, if not better.

"Are you sure you've never done this before?" she laughed.

"I'm positive! I'm just naturally blessed!"

"Well Miss 'Naturally Blessed' I think it's time to take it off. My parents will come in here sooner or later," she said and passed him a makeup wipe.

he sighed and began to rub it off. His mind wandered back to Collins even though he saw him this morning he already missed him so much. He couldn't wait for tomorrow, hopefully he would love her just as much. Mimi put all of the makeup she was giving Angel in a spare bag.

"What time is it?" he finally asked.

"A quarter to ten," she squinted at the digital clock across the room.

"I'm gonna- I gotta go," he said throwing everything into his backpack.

"since when do you have a curfew?" she mocked his frantic state.

"I don't I just have plans."

And with that, he took off running as fast as he could back home. He ran through the back door trying to avoid his parents that could be sitting in the living room. Thankfully no one was in the kitchen either. He quietly went upstairs, shut his door, and called Collins.

It rang twice before he picked up, "Hello?"

"Hi," Angel said butterflies in his stomach.

"Oh, hey! I was beginning to worry," he laughed into the phone. "what have you been up to?"

"Oh, nothing much, just a best friends day," Angel tried to stay casual.

"Mhmmm, and how was that?"

"Good, good, do you mind if i come over tomorrow? I have a surprise for you."

"You do? oh baby you didn't have to you know that?"

"I wanted to! I'll come over after church so about noon?"

"Sounds perfect," he could almost hear the smile on Collins face.

"Alright, I'll be there."

"Where did you even go today?"

"The city," Angel smiled. "Just for a change of scenery."

"Aww, you must be tired."

"A little..."

"I'll let you go you can talk to me tomorrow."

"No, I'm ok to talk."

"Hey, sleep is important I'll still be here in the morning," Collins reminded.

"Alright, I guess," he said with disappointment. "Sleep well."

"Sweet dreams," Collins said and hung up the phone.

Angel laid down and instantly fell asleep.

 **Finally the next chapter in a long epic!**

 **for realz the next chapter is gonna have sex! so rating will go up**


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